John Robert Barnes. I always thought I had a double-barreled first name and no middle name, and was going-by-something when introducing myself as “John”; that’s what my mother told me anyhow, but I got a hold of my birth certificate and found out its been just “John” all along. I think I still have some baby teeth, but I could be wrong. I have ideas, or inklings on a lot of things, but sometimes it turns out I’m wrong. Misinformed. My hair’s falling out. I misremember things. I have bad days and good days. Today was a good day.

Today, my friend the Bloody Eyes showed up first. He’s never not a nuisance, but I love him just the same.

Jun. 27 appeared later. She’s the best; its symbiosis, existing via existing, our relationship to each other. She’s graceful and confident in her execution of her actions, and she’s on time, prompt, attractive, outwardly warm—social, really—when she wants to be. Performance comes naturally.

John Robert Barnes is too curious, but doesn’t have any sea legs. He loves nature, but used to pull the leaves off of trees or bushes when passing them until he started to regret it.

The Bloody Eyes drowns gleeful in manipulated arbitration, soaking in shadows, and is no good with money, and high all the time.

Jun’s cool too.

The gang set out early, eager to make what they could of the day today. Misery loves company, even when it’s joy.


For all installments from 30 Birds, click here.

Previous installments:

  1. “Velvet” by the Bloody Eyes
  2. “Subtle” by Yukio Mishima
  3. “Geronimo Sunset!” by Jun. 27
  4. “My Hero” by Annie Wonoffate Million
  5. “Gender” by Jun. 27, Part 1
  6. “Gender” by Jun. 27, Part 2
  7. “Eel Dogs ‘Til Stupid” by Jun. 27
  8. “Pleasant Town” by Jun. 27
  9. “Daffy” by Herman Barker
  10. “Classic, Ecstatic, and Shocked (My First Kiss)” by John Robert Barnes
  11. I Would/Would I?/Wouldn’t You?
  12. “Fabled” by Jun. 27
  13. “Simpatico Starring Matthew McConaughey” by Harrison Ford
  14. “Tarantella” by Jun. 27
  15. “That Time a Toucan Was in Our Backyard/The Very First Thing I Can Remember” by John Robert Barnes
  16. “Gutwrenching (Sadism in Palindrome)” by the Bloody Eyes
  17. “Maraschino” by John Robert Barnes
  18. “Church and God” by John Robert Barnes
  19. “And a Phanta?smagoria” by John Robert Barnes
  20. “Velvet (Cont’d)” by the Bloody Eyes
  21. “Magnanimous Magpies” by the Bloody Eyes
  22. “Amusical” by Jun. 27
  23. “A Decorated Soldier” by John Robert Barnes
  24. “A Love Poem” by John Robert Barnes
  25. “Parable #2 (A Picture’s Worth 1,000 Words) — Red Herrings” by Jun. 27
  26. “XYZ Affair (Rawhide)” by the Bloody Eyes
  27. “Le Faites de la Fête” by Jun. 27
  28. “Twinning” by the Bloody Eyes
  29. “Pussy” by Jun. 27
  30. “Parable #1 — Heming’s Way” by Jun. 27
  31. “Voodoo” by Archibald Hall