Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “It Never Hurts to Ask” and “Plagiary”

It Never Hurts to Ask Perhaps no common saying is less true than that one. “It never hurts to ask.” Give me a break! Go ask some chicks to fuck you.…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Sorry

Hi beautiful, Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with how bad I feel about everything regarding us and our end. It’s weird, really. A few times a day, I…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Incest and Babysitters

Ever notice how much “step-whatever” porn there is? As with all porn, some of it is good, most of it is not, and all of it is suddenly ubiquitous,…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Virginity Lost

It is generally bad when people look back on some dumb, bad, or confusing thing that happened to them in teendom and start to believe that it…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “The Races” and “Writing a Blink-182 Song”

The Races As should be clear by now, I am straight. So all of the below applies to women and women only. Blacks Not attractive. Yeah, that’s a…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: On Snot

Yes, I mean the snot that comes from your nose. Again, hear me out. It’s cleaner than shit and piss, of course. But more than that, you vanilla folks…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Fucking Angela Merkel, Considered

February 3, 2017 Right out of the gate, nearly every subject expressed a burning desire to perform fellatio on Chancellor Merkel. A linear regression…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: What Makes Mike Adriano Great?

Yes, porn is personal; infinitely subjective. Yet there are still masters of the craft. Music is personal, but there are still masters. Ditto…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: On Milk

The paradox of breast milk and fucking is this: of all the bodily fluids we can secrete, milk is the only one whose purpose is to be consumed, yet…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “No” and “Diary”

No If you had a cock, I wouldn’t suck it. Thanks for asking. Diary Having done some reading, the verdict is in: it is good for your mental health to…