Startled by the kitchen screen door banging shut, Sheila looked up from her empty coffee mug to see her sister standing there with her hair a mess and torn blouse unbuttoned.

“Zelda, where were you been for the last three days? We gave you up for dead!”

She grinned and proclaimed, “I’s been abducted by aliens!”

“You were what by illegal aliens? Do you mean abducted by foreign perverts?”

“No, by space aliens. They were horny, too!”

Sheila’s mouth dropped wide open at the thought of her sister being abducted and raped by space perverts. “No way, sis! Real space aliens screwed you? Sit down and tell me all about it over coffee.”

Zelda sat as Sheila poured the coffee, “The last time I saw you, you were going over to brother Clem’s farm for some eggs.”

Zelda spoke with a mouthful of biscuit. “Yep! That’s right! They swooped down and scooped me up. At first, I was scared silly, until I realized they were just horny.”

“Wow! Those raping bastards!”

“No! It wasn’t like that! At first, they didn’t poke, or probe me, or force me to do anything I didn’t want to do.  Besides, I got the better of them, I did.”

Sheila pouted, “That doesn’t sound right!” Spotting red marks on Zelda’s neck and breast poking out of her torn blouse, Sheila exclaimed, “Wait a minute! Are those hickies? I ain’t never seen hickies that big before!”

Zelda stood up and slipped out of her blouse; braless, she turned around covered in hickies everywhere. Sheila could not believe all the hickies on Zelda’s neck, breasts, back, and shoulders. “What have you been up to?”

Proud of all her hickies, Zelda sat back down topless. “They grabbed me, zoomed us up to their mothership, where they stuck me in what I thought was an examination room.”

“Zelda, go on! Don’t keep me in suspense; if it wasn’t an alien doctor’s examination room, what was it?”

“You’re not gonna believe me when I tell you! I get goosebumps just thinking about it!”

Zelda reached across the table grabbing Sheila’s hand, gleefully Zelda whispered, “They’re intergalactic sex toy sales agents! Their space toys make every dildo on earth obsolete and boring! I have been in ecstasy gleefully satisfying every sexual craving and desire I ever dreamed about!”

Sheila stared at Zelda, “Are you shitting me? I thought you were dead for the last three days! You were screwing the entire time with alien perverts!”

“But that’s not the best part! Wait until you hear! Get your credit card and come with me!”

Sheila started pulling her hand back from Zelda, “Wait, where are we going?”

Zelda grinned from ear to ear, “Come on! I maxed out my credit card! We’re gonna make a killing!”

With Sheila’s credit card in hand, Zelda dragged Sheila by the hand to the kitchen back door. Zelda pushed it open and the aliens scooped them up to their saucer sex shop where the two women bought out the alien’s entire inventory of space toys, aphrodisiacs and jellies.

Three days later, the following classified appeared online:

Zelda’s Out of This World Space Toys!

Guaranteed to satisfy your feminen desires in every port of entry known to man and then some!