“Hey, Joe, why don’t you come over today?”

“I don’t think that I should while you are incapacitated. There isn’t anything we could do.”

“We could talk, tell each other stories.”

“Betty, we couldn’t do anything physical. Your lower back stiffness precludes bed fun, if you know what I mean.”

“Not necessarily. If you were willing to open your mind to other possibilities, we could please each other.”

“You know I don’t go for that kinky stuff. We can get together when your back is better.”

“We’ll see.” Hangs up.

Not for the first time, Betty wondered whether she needed a new boyfriend. Whenever she had to make a hard decision, she made a list of pros and cons.


  • Great at sex, but limited repertoire and imagination.
  • Is stable with plenty of money he doesn’t mind spending.
  • Doesn’t mistreat me.
  • Good body.


  • My parents like him, but my friends don’t.
  • Mistreats service people.
  • Never compliments me or anyone else.
  • No empathy.

Probably double-timing me based on what my friends tell me.

The answer was clear to Betty: it was time to get an upgrade from Joe. Too bad she couldn’t do anything until she could get off her back.

Betty was cheered when she got a text from her best friend Judy. “I thought you might need a treat, so I ordered you a pizza. I told delivery where to find your key so you won’t have to get up. He should just knock and come in.”

Within 15 minutes, Betty heard a knock and someone yelled through the door “Pizza! Okay if I come in?”


“Hi I’m Treat. Would you like the pizza by your bed? How about extra parmesan and red pepper?”

“Yes, both please.”

After Betty started to nibble, Treat began taking his clothes off.

“What the hell? I’m calling the cops!” Betty grabbed her phone.

“Betty, didn’t Judy tell you that she ordered strip pizza? Hey, I’m sorry, I thought that you knew. I’ll leave if you want.”

When Betty recovered, she chuckled and said, “Okay, I didn’t know. That sounds just like Judy. Show me what you got. If you think that this is a scene from a porn movie, you should know that I don’t look like the women in those films.”

When Treat was down to his banana hammock, Betty noted that it was a large banana, perhaps some hybrid or genetically modified. Treat’s small horns on his forehead which had been hidden by his hat and his scaly body were more surprising.

Treat’s performance was set to Marvin’ Gaye’s “Got to Give it Up,” one of Betty’s favorites. He combined the most obscene bumps and grinds with graceful movements.

When Treat had finished, Betty discovered that she had one hand on her crotch and another on her left breast. She asked, “What are you and what other services do you offer?”

“I’m a night demon. We are a tribe that offers sexual healing, as did your favorite, Marvin Gaye. We only exist at night and give our services to deserving humans. What would you say to some of that sexual healing? I brought some hot oil for lubrication.”

“I’ve already started lubricating, but proceed. You should remove the little remaining of your outfit first. You don’t want to get any oil on it.”

Treat spread a pleasant-smelling substance over much of Betty’s body without disturbing her back and then licked it off with his long forked tongue, which probed her nooks and her crannies. Betty climaxed better than she ever had during sex with Joe.

When she could talk again, she asked Treat, “Why did Judy set this up?”

“She knew that you deserved better than Joe. He was hitting on her a day after you got the bad back. She knew about me from the time after her divorce when I, ahem, cheered her up.”

Betty wanted to know “Where do we go from here?”

“I can visit you while you are incapacitated if you like and I have ways to speed your healing. I know combinations of herbs as well as some exercises that will fix your back in a few days. Good demons’ expertise extends beyond the erotic arts. I expect that you will find a much better human boyfriend than Joe, but I will be available.”

“That sounds great. You deserve a big tip for the pizza and the extras.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Maybe not necessary, but don’t put that banana hammock back on yet.”