At Quark’s Bar

…“You know, you’re a real snoutfair?”’s all I said to her---spoken, mind you, as a firm believer in urbane wit, you know, just oozing eutrapelia?…


The Debasement of Igor Prostakovich, Part 2

VII. He never saw that play and apparently, it received plenty of recognition. The artist called for the common man to rise up against oppression,…


Harvest in Haran

As Rachel walked up, Jacob asked himself, “I wonder what’s longer; her hair or her legs?” She was his cousin, yes, but a knockout is a knockout. A…


Arts Appreciation

Of course, I live alone. It was not easy coming back to an empty apartment. I mean, I wasn’t totally on my own, not completely as an old maid; I was…


Gross-Breesen, Part 2

INT. OFFICE-DAY Bondy is seated in an office. On the wall behind a desk is a sign: GERMAN ZIONIST COMMITTEE. Bondy is in an increasingly heated…


Moonless

On a dark moonless night, a short, voluptuous teen unseasonably dressed in short shorts and a bulging industrial-strength halter was followed by a…


Ho Busters

After getting to know Donald Trump, he convinced me to start a joint venture hotel called Trump Brownsville. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as popular as…


Red Jest

“Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night. What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?” William Blake I. A small…


A Walk on the Dark Side

I’m not sure whether I write to drink or drink to write. All I know is they go together like---how does the song put it? “Love and marriage, they go…


The Debasement of Igor Prostakovich, Part 1

I. Literature is for women. Literature is for women and the elderly. Literature: it is for people who can afford a book and Igor Prostakovich can’t…