The White Man’s Burden
A racist, they call me. A white supremacist! I would but laugh if this weren’t such an incredible misunderstanding! Here, within my jail cell and in…
The Frog-Tower
Well, what is a frog-tower, after all? Nobody outside of Iceland, it seems, has ever heard of them, and even those from outside my home province are…
Knock Knock
Don’t answer the door. Never answer the door. This was the lesson that I learned at age five. “Strangers might be at the door,” my father would say.…
Hero Dick
Richard Hartshaw was only fifteen when he realised that he could ejaculate a horrifying boiling acid. The experience itself was highly traumatic.…
Trip of a Lifetime
I bashed my friend over the head with a family tragedy. We had to stop walking, and there in the doorway of a McDonald's, I told her the details.…
Elders
Sick, clammy bodies were writhing and heaving somewhere under the back starless sky, illuminated by neon garden lights of pink and teal. Across the…
Limp Dicks and Other Reasons Why My Ex-Lover is a Dick, Part 2
VII. This brings us to Miriam Delirium McWhacko. Ms. McWhacko is what the Germans call a “foreskin fly”: a needy woman who hangs onto a man’s…
Gorilla Glass
The story of the stain-resistant gorilla glass that currently encases the 2018 Apple/Samsung device that you hold in your very hands, today, at this…
Chico
No, I’m saying the drug money. The drug money, you know, when the cops bought the drugs, they sold me the fucking---they had the money and they sold…
The Winter Wolves
“Owww.” Angela gingerly stepped out of bed, walking like an old woman toward the light switch at the end of the room. Plantar fasciitis plagued her,…
