Transmissions from Chicago, Part 2

There’s a common saying around here, and Chicagoans have doubtless either heard or repeated it. It has two variants, both meaning the same thing:…


Transmissions from Chicago, Part 1

Things were different here. Royko (RIP) said as much, back when this city was still Second City (now best known as some shit improv troupe; I’d…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 6

Bus 4501, 9:00 AM, January 7, 2011---11:00 AM, January 7, 2011 We were twenty minutes late getting into Indianapolis. The driver of the bus to…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 5

Bus 1682, 3:20 AM, January 7, 2011---8:30 AM, January 7, 2011 Clenching my asshole closed, shivering, and puffing as quickly away as possible at this…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 4

Bus 1306, 6:55 AM, January 6, 2011---5:25 AM, January 7, 2011 I arrived in Denver, Colorado with a two hour layover. Let me take a minute to describe…


In the Shadow of Watts Towers, Part 1

I. Teaching isn’t easy. Certainly not in Los Angeles. I might as well say it at the start: I hate it. It’s hard to be among the young. The first day…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 3

Bus 1300, ???? Finally, Salt Lake City! Moron...I mean Mormon capital of the world! I had a three hour hangover...I mean layover here. My whiskey…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 2

Bus 1304, 10:30 PM, January 4, 2011---4:05 PM, January 5, 2011 I woke up in Portland on the front bus seat, missing my four front teeth. I suppose at…


My Love and Peace Letter to Greyhound, Part 1

Bus 6513, 8:30 PM, January 4, 2011 I was about to embark on a move from Olympia, Washington to Cleveland, Ohio. This situation sounded sticky, but it…


The Thing People Don’t Understand

She comes into my apartment from the heat of the desert day. “Hi Mary,” I say. “Hi, Matt,” she says. She stands in the middle of the room and fans…