Trigger Finger

Last night, I propped up my laptop, the laptop I am writing this on, in my bathroom sink and put on some porn. I looked at myself in the big mirror…


Nomocanon of Mephistopheles, Part 2

Therefore you do not read Gogol as a man who allowed himself to love whom he desired and hate who he hated but only as a mere satirist against…


Slot Machine Suicide

I am out in Las Vegas with my dumb cousins and things have not gone well. It is not clear to me why, but Gil, Marie, and I just fight and fight and…


Curmudgeon 3

Taxes are easy to criticize, because the rules and the rates are horrible. No person making under $100,000 adjusted for inflation should need more…


Nomocanon of Mephistopheles, Part 1

Above and below Aeropagitica, centuries lagging. To sons of Thrace, Illyria, and Dalmatia, Dacia, From Moesia, may we be eternally condemned To…


Cracking

Can you ever feel yourself cracking? Feel your brain slowly sliding open like two tectonic plates hellbent on creating a gulf in the ocean? It is…


Tracking a Lost Day

Yesterday, a Saturday, was a day lost entirely to depression. Very occasionally, this happens. Here, I will attempt to document it, and in so doing…


My Old Friend Paul is in Jail Now

Paul's house always had a rotating cast of perma-stoned, full-time gamers around 20, my age. They treated my best friend Liam and I at a distance, as…


Curmudgeon 2

Let’s talk American politics. Party D: Everything is the fault of rich people. We’ll take away their money to buy your votes. Party R: Don’t be poor.…


Curmudgeon

I’m past tense all the way to agitated. Past tense for “cast” is “cast” and yet I’ve seen “casted.” If a man is executed by rope, he is “hanged.” He…