How to convince me that you are a bad writer or speaker:

  • “Take” preceded by fast, quick or hot.
  • “Convo,” “conversate,” or “commentate.”
  • “Pricing” or “price point” instead of “price.”
  • Anything about “influencers, “but “grifters” or “influenza” is okay.
  • “Feels” as a noun except as an expression of affection between consenting adults.
  • “Reveal” or “ask” as nouns.
  • “Dox” or “performative,” which my spellcheck agrees aren’t real.
  • “Salty” other than a flavor.
  • The use of “ship” as a desire for a romance between celebrities indicates both bad usage and excess celebrity interest.

If one is to believe much of what appears in social media, “boomers” born from 1946 until 1964 are different from everyone else. I’m too old to be a boomer, but my editor is one, therefore we must hold different beliefs, want different things and talk differently. Not so. I’m from the Silent Generation, but if you knew me, you might doubt it. Generational generalities are wrong, stupid, and bigoted marketing tools.

Here is your class on the growing career of clickbait writing. Illustrate with an attractive woman with large barely-covered breasts, a well-known person who has no connection to the thread, or a well known person who appears last in the thread. The best illustration is a female celebrity with large breasts who has nothing to do with the thread or appears last. Use one of these sample titles:

  • Why x and y broke up.
  • Something is just what you thought.
  • You didn’t know these celebrities were LGBTLSMFT.
  • These celebrities work regular jobs now, or are broke, or…
  • States to retire, not retire, worst, best, most jewelers, fattest…
  • Why x can’t be cast anymore (but don’t really explain).
  • See the mate or house of x (make it completely misleading).
  • What these celebrities from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, or 90’s are like now.
  • Something about bad selfies or tattoos.
  • Make it difficult to move from one presentation to the next so people have to spend more time with the ads. Better yet, make it easier to move to an ad than the next presentation.

Talking on your phone with a captive audience that can’t avoid your loud calls is just rude. Now that most people have cell or mobile phones, imposing your conversations on others doesn’t make you important, it just makes you rude. We don’t need to be interrupted by your grocery list, your latest big real estate transaction, or what your proctologist diagnosed.

I’m a little old man and I support this rant.