Feel Disaster in the Air

You are making effigies
out of small rocks and recently chewed bubblegum
of all the people you have met.
And you set them in a line,
one behind another.
When you breathe a sigh of relief
they fall down in sequence,
and the scattered remnants
form an ambiguous shape
which you interpret as
an image of
the last time
you felt surprise.

Really?

I am the “Really?” asked after a banal, obviously true statement.
Rhetorical,
but terrifying from the right person.

I am the “Yes,” response.
Unnecessary,
but horrifying if left unsaid.

You can find me trailing behind you.
Always.
A reminder of the insurmountable distance between you and everything else.

Just Kidding!

Every day I walk through a house party
and I don’t know who to thank for having me.

Why yes I did wake up covered in sweat, thanks for asking.
And yes! You are correct. That is my award for “most disheveled”
above our heads, framed with check marks drawn directly on the wall.

Let me memorize my lines for you.
Let me re-slate the scene every three minutes,
refreshed and eager to please.

Something, something, smiling with eyes.
Something, something, motivation.

Helping you is helping me so I better not do it.
Just kidding!

One Day I’ll Bake Something

The first guy who made a ruler
deserves a medal.
Even if he just found it on the ground.

Each universal model kilogram mass
has been replaced
but I still love them
and I think they never stopped working hard.

Have you stared at a blank
text message body,
the white frame extending for miles,
for hours?
It would be dumb to do that,
yeah I agree.

The type of animal you compare me to
eats dead things
and does not fly.

Underwater Locks

Scuba diving is for dumb shitheads.
So let’s go
and try to drown each other.

I would stand in front of a series
of vertical, perfectly spaced oak wooden panels
and watch you look up
for days.

Picture me in a forest,
grinning.
Picture a miniature version of me
sitting cross-legged
on an otherwise empty shelf.

A cat sits on me for heat
and he sits on you
because he wants to.

Timeline

Place me on a timeline
which is a hastily drawn loop de loop
which
when projected onto an orthogonal axis and rotated ninety degrees
looks like a straight line.

Send nudes, I’m horny too.