This thing is total crap; bad enough that I lose my phone for a week but I have to deal with a low-end burner piece of shit, probably stolen, so f—in old it should have a rotary dial. I hate having my privacy invaded; my phone is off-limits. Stupid rules; I just can’t deal.

Shit: my browser history.




Now I am stuck with this broke ass LG POS; it’s like wearing someone else’s wet bathing suit after they shit in it.


Leaves this in my locker and takes my lunch—amazing what qualifies as friendship—no storage, no apps. At least I know how to fix it, so it’s not a total loss. Gotta wait; late again for English.

I need to upload my apps so I can finally get back in contact. No storage on this without a micro SD; man, this sucks. I can’t do any of this without music, so I need to load a playlist and get back to life; thank you, cloud. I hope Sam drinks all the shit I got him and he pukes his guts out.

Okay, last one is FB Messenger.

Wow, okay, holy crap, what the hell, who is this guy? Larry?


I can access some random dude’s FB profile; WTF, how is that possible? Pure fire. I gotta text Sam and find out if he knows who this guy is that had the phone before; it should have been wiped.






So easy from the sidelines to tell me to go totally rogue and see what happens; he’s on the outside and free from fall out, like I don’t see it. He is a condom that should have been worn.


Evil choices, LOL; I can gain a backstage pass to anything at this guy Larry’s expense. His profile seems average, TBH; very little on here and he hasn’t been active in a long time, so anything I add will go unnoticed, no doubt.

Crap…phone’s ringing, shit, hit mute or I’m busted.

Who is calling me, no one has this number, just Sam. 1-866: that has to be some automated bullshit, so hit decline. No, it’s gone to a voicemail I haven’t set up; that’s random. Oh man, I need to see if I can pull up his contacts, there has to be a hack I can find; this dude seems a little sketchy, maybe it’s a collection call, or worse.

It’s time to throw a few small social media rocks into the pond and see what happens as the ripples spread, create a Finsta account or two for this guy, post, then see what I can find there to add to this boring as shit page. Buy this guy some guns or something, ha ha ha. Okay, first thing is turn airplane mode on just in case this leaves a mark.


For all installments of “Doppelgänger Dark,” click here.