The E-Farer

A dreaded mod / / did posters ban.
In his mickle / / might he gloried.

The site went down / / one dark dull day.
He was not warned / / nor reasons found.
The admin gone / / and gone for good.
Mod where is thy hammer? / / But my board it was too.

Happy are they / / who find their cheer
Where normies dwell: / / Discord, Reddit,
Twitter, whatever. / / Their ways are not my ways.
Wretched, weary, wan, and worn, / / I went from my lost board,
Fresh content seeking and / / free speech with men like me.

Old forums where / / I former dwelt
I found barren, / / blighted, gone.
My IRCs / / unregistered.
A browser game / / I once enjoyed
Now lies still / / and silent.

An imageboard / / I chanced across,
Small yet lively, / / it seemed quite good.
But my ways weren’t theirs / / and I went from it.
Three months later / / I thought to try
that board out once again. / / But it was gone
To where boards go / / when they just disappear.

They say the Net’s / / like the old West,
and true that seems to me / / in that the West
is dead and gone, / / and dead the Net is too.
But somewhere here / / among these tombs
Of websites stiff and cold / / there still must be
Some place where I / / would make my home.

Where did they go, / / wise men of old,
With whom I dreamed / / and did discuss?
Are they with me here / / in waking life,
Concealed by faces true? / / I can’t be sure
And yet it seems / / it is not so.

I’ll seek those ones, / / we’ll meet again,
Those men with whom I spoke / / on movies, law,
and history, / / and gladly did call fags.
And when we meet, / / I’ll know them not
By face or name, / / but by wit and wisdom.
But searching’s long, / / attention’s short;
Maybe I’ll go / / get a job.

The Center of the Universe

Perhaps you learned / / in public school
How science proved / / the Sun’s the center and not Earth.
The victory of reason / / over rural fools of old.

Perhaps you also / / in your schools
Heard of Einstein / / and his bold claim
That motion’s really / / relative to where you stand.

This certainly must mean / / that the Sun goes round
The Earth unless / / you live upon the Sun.
The olden truths / / are truths once more.

That old victory / / of reason rendered
False by its own / / foremost thinkers.
The Earth’s the center. / / That is, if you’re on Earth.

But if you’re on the Moon / / it makes the center on the Moon.
If you’re out in space then / / the center is your ship.

As I drift out / / into nothing
And my starship / / stays its course
I realize to / / my terror that
The center of the universe
is me.

Gynter, Guenes, and Gareth

Once there was a goodly king / / Giblich he was hight.
Three sons had King Giblich / / and goodly knights them all.
First was Gynter / / the fair and strong.
Next was Guenes / / knowing and wise.
Last was Gareth / / and least was he,
For he was small / / and stupid was he thought.

King Giblich sought / / to cede his realm
To his most worthy son. / / He sent for two,
Gynter and Guenes / / but Gareth he forgot.
“Ye sons of mine,” / / now spoke the king,
“Listen to my words. / / I wish from you a treasure,
The greatest that would be found. / / The one of you that brings
To me the richer haul, / / he shall have my crown and realm.”

Into the wild / / went Gynter then
A worthy wealth now seeking / / with which to claim his realm.
A hoary hare / / he came across
and he stopped to ask it / / if he knew of treasures
and whither any / / would be found.

The hare then spoke, / / “A horde I know
Not far from here, / / a heaping pile of spoils.
But there a dragon / / does stand guard
With teeth like halberds / / and hide like horn.
The beast you cannot face / / you’d best move on
and try your strength / / in some other place.”

“Your words I will not heed, / / hare so small and frail,”
Said Gynter to the hare. / / With haste he rode
To the dragon’s horde / / the dreaded beast to face.
The dragon caught him / / carelessly and
Put him in a pit. / / “My pot I must make ready,”
Said the dragon, / / “For dinner’s just arrived.”
The beast then went / / to boil his pot
While Gynter waited / / within the pit.

Into the wild / / went Guenes then
The hoary hare / / he met where Gynter had before.
He asked it where / / he would find wealth

As it had to Gynter / / the hare spoke now:
“Not far from here / / a horde I know
But there you should not go. / / Gynter your brother
Did try the horde, / / the dragon there now holds him
Within a pit, / / a pot he makes to boil him.
No better fate awaits thee / / should thou follow in his steps.”

“Foolish hare,” said Guenes, / / “Go I surely shall.
While the dragon is distracted / / doing cooking for his meal,
I’ll sneak inside / / and steal the treasure for myself.”
So off he went / / and he was caught
And placed in the pit. / / “My pot must I must
Fill double now,” / / the dragon did then say.
And he went to fill / / his pot again.
And dinner was for now at least / / delayed some hours more.

Word of the contest / / came to Gareth
And he was grieved / / and grew full wroth.
He stole into the wild, / / his wealth to find
Before his brothers / / brought their treasures home.

The hoary hare / / he did then meet
And Gareth asked / / if it did know
Where hordes of coin / / yet could be found.

As it had before / / the hare spoke now:
“Not far from here / / a horde I know
But there you should not go. / / Gynter your brother
And Guenes too / / have gone and failed.
Your brothers wait / / within a pit.
For a mighty dragon / / dwells among the gold.
Your brothers he means / / to boil within his pot.”

Forgotten now / / was Gareth’s wrath
And to the ancient hare / / he dared to say,
“But go I must, / / my friend, good hare,
For you must surely see / / to save his brothers
Is all a man / / might do now in my place.”

Good Gareth’s speech / / did greatly please
That goodly hare / / so grey and old.
It nodded and / / it spoke again,
“If your brothers you would save, / / then you shall have my aid.
There is a word / / which I will speak
And if the dragon hears it / / then die it surely shall.”
The hare spoke the word, / / then went Gareth to the horde.

Gareth went unto the horde, / / beheld the dragon,
And spoke the word. / / The worm fell dead
And Gareth reached into the pit / / to pull his brothers out.
They then agreed / / that all the three
Would then pick out / / a prize to carry home,
And then the king / / could judge the greatest.

Gynter did take / / a goodly sword
In a jewelled case, / / Eckia it was called.
Guenes took him / / a tome of old
Forgotten wisdom, / / Sidwitha it was called.
But Gareth took / / no gold nor jewel,
And Gynter asked him why. / / Gareth answered,
“From the dragon’s horde / / I have already
In my possession / / the prize that is the best.”

To the king’s court / / came the brothers
And to their father / / told what had befell.
Giblich was pleased / / and pledged fairly
To judge Gareth’s spoil / / with Gynter’s and Guenes’.

With the sword Eckia / / the king was full well pleased.
“A goodly sword, / / Gynter, good son,
And worthy of / / an able king.”
The tome Sidwitha / / was well liked too,
For the king regarded / / Guenes’ book a great prize.

But Giblich saw / / that Gareth had
No gold or jewels / / to give him there.
Giblich asked why, / / and Gareth answered:
“The wealth I’ve claimed / / is worthier
Than baubles, gold, / / or books or swords.
My own two brothers, / / your own two sons,
Are both safe here / / and by my hand.
And that, I ween, / / is wealth you would not trade
For shining gold / / or goodly jewels.”

“My son, you’re right,” / / then said the king,
“A wealthy lord am I, / / my lad, and so will you
My rule inherit, / / my realm will go to you.”