Enthusiasm (from the Greek word enthousiasmos, from enthous, meaning “possessed by a god, inspired.”)

I want to make something for you
That means I need of make something of myself
I want to make something of you
That means I’ll have to put the gun on the shelf

Shoulda knew this was a bandwagon you would hop on
Whoda known that was the last fuckin’ straw
Reassurances mean about as much as the pawn
Disturbances seen, fuck has this gone on wrong

Let’s try something you’re good at
Knocking me down until I am
Vexed, perplexed, annexed
Think you mean my life is pretext

Fuck you, has a nice ring to it
Let’s try to make words with fire
Anger that I won’t admit
Nothing coming of it
Hearts like a knife splint

Lungs full of blood
Sorry if I spit this bloody confession on your dress
It’s not some deal to obsession we need to press

Now I have voices screaming in both ears
This isn’t coming out as Shakespeare
Stop calling me faggot and queer
Don’t look at my insides they’re private
I don’t rummage around your lost liver lung hard to find your time in the sun

Who put this down abruptly?
Left this hole promptly
To put it bluntly
I think it was me
I’m crumbling

Do I know you?
You know? Like how I’m supposed to?
Not like you know yourself
I don’t want to know yourself
I don’t want to know myself

Are we close to the point or back where we started?
Is this getting through?
Can I ask more of you?
Can you say goodbye too?

Christ listen to me,
Talking like I know what I’m talking about
Like it isn’t just a delusion of a neurotic confusion
Like you want to listen

Huh that’s just the pessimist that I don’t miss
He’s a whole lotta me
Gotta close my eyes and write so I don’t know what he makes
Let someone else read it back to me so I can pretend
I couldn’t be this fucking wrong
My mind doesn’t ramble on so long
I don’t think I can write anthems

It’s just a breakdown nothing to worry about
Maybe this time it will be the end and I can be nothing to worry about
Can we just talk about not dying for a minute?

Why are you asking so much?
Let’s be clear I’m in the wrong
And you’re me so its not looking so good
Who else is listening?

Mister what day is it?
I’m losing track of time
What are you doing when I’m asleep?
Fuck where did the world go?
How did this gun end up in your hand?
Like the clock flipped and I’m out of sand

Fucking zap my temples before he comes back
My muse
I’m enthused
Gods dance in my head