You Gotta Be Rich to Die There

The rich and famous don’t even croak the same as us.
They have their own place.
The Motion Picture & Television Country House
and Hospital.

With plenty of generous donors.
George Clooney is one.
You gotta be rich to die there.

I guess the celebs see the others at the end
and figure it prudent to kick a little cash
that way for when it is their turn.

They have a stipulation that you have to have
worked “actively” in the film and entertainment
industry for at least two decades.

Then you get to be special.
Die with original Picassos adorning
the halls.

I’d imagine their bedpans are solid gold.
But Death being what it is, they never stay
that way for long.


The cat had been thrown out in the rain.
Returned home torn up and half dead.
It had to be put down.

a little girl sits on the floor
humming to herself
as she works

She is doing surgery to fix
her cat.

Invisible surgery
for her invisible cat.

The surgery is a success.
He cat is better now.
She is nursing it back to full health.
Humming as she tucks it
into bed.

What the hell are you doing?
yells father.

Home from the bar
and drunk.

I’m a surgeon,
the little girl says proudly.
I’m fixing my cat.

“Well, quit that racket, or I’ll throw both of you
out in the rain!”

The little girl picks up her cat
and carries it off to her room.

There is no yelling in the hospital.
Her cat has visitors.
The surgery was a success.

Elastic Band

He asked me if I’d ever put an elastic band
over my balls.

I told him I hadn’t.
That I liked my balls,
we had been together
a long time.

He nudged me to confess
with his elbow.

We’re all friends here.

A questionable claim at best.
This one had once driven over my foot
in anger.

I put an elastic band around your girlfriend’s balls,
I said.
Does that count?

It would if I had a girl,
he laughed.

I don’t think it would,
I said.

He gave me a look.
The opposite of how statues always appear
so sure of themselves.

He seemed confused about the fact
that girls don’t have balls
which made me wonder what type of girls
he’d been hanging around.