As Rachel walked up, Jacob asked himself, “I wonder what’s longer; her hair or her legs?” She was his cousin, yes, but a knockout is a knockout. A wave of questions hit him all at once: what does her asshole taste like? Do her nipples match her hair? Can she deepthroat? Is her big or her index toe the longest? Does she keep her eyes open when she gives head? How much does she shave? Has she ever waxed? Does her taint shine when she gets wet? What color are her lips? Would she mind teeth marks up and down her thighs?

Jacob was dizzy with the questions, but not at a loss for what to do next. When she was within a foot of him, he grabbed her by the hips and kissed her on the mouth. He pulled back, looked her over, and started crying. They had never seen one another before and the love of intertwined destinies smashed across them like the flood that only Noah had weathered. “I’m Rebekah’s son,” he stammered. “Your dad is my mom’s brother.” With that, Rachel ran off to tell Laban, her father, everything.

Later, at the family home, the family patriarch looked at Jacob and bellowed, “Surely you are my bone and my flesh.” Laban was not an unreasonable man. He knew that his other daughter, Leah, would not so readily fetch a husband, so he wanted a dowry for Rachel. They settled on seven years of work on the family farm. Jacob loved his fiancé so much that it might as well have been just a few days.

The night of the wedding was a wild revelry of food and drink. Dionysus himself couldn’t have hosted a party more debauched. Near midnight, Jacob took his wife and stumbled up the stairs with her. In their new bedroom they lived up to the phrase “good things come to those who wait.” Rachel proved more aggressive than Jacob had ever imagined. She bent him over and ate his ass, pumping his cock with her hand the whole time. When she came up for air, she slipped a blindfold over his eyes and laid him flat on his back. In a voice haggard with desire, she said, “I know the best lube” before letting her vomit slip from her lips, giving him warm chunks from the tip of his cock to the underside of his nuts. It was in that condition that Jacob slipped inside Rachel’s bridal orifice and therein added pearls to swine.

In the morning, still bleary and battered, Jacob turned to his wife and saw not Rachel, but Leah. Still stinking of last night’s filth, he ran to his father-in-law. “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” he shouted. Calmly, Laban replied, “It is not so done in our country to give the younger before the firstborn. We will give you the other also in return for serving me another seven years.” So stupid in love was Jacob that he agreed.

In one week’s time, Rachel and Jacob were wed. This time, the dowry was to be paid after the fact—and more importantly, there was no deception. Jacob’s second wedding night was a sister to the first. He bent Rachel over and licked her asshole while massaging her clit. She giggled with embarrassment and delight before lying down spread-eagle. With eyes squeezed shut, she told him to do whatever it took to outshine her sister. He burrowed between her legs and ate hungrily. But whereas her ass had been sweet like a yam after a rainfall, her pussy was off. There were menstrual scents and something he couldn’t place. The alcohol sitting in his stomach didn’t help. The last thing he remembered before passing out was hurling all over the bride he’d lusted after for 14 years.

Regardless, Jacob’s preference stayed with Rachel. God, seeing this disparity, opened Leah’s womb and kept her sister perversely chaste. For months, Jacob failed to finish with his favorite wife in any way that might leave a legacy. Meanwhile, Leah’s fetus vomitorious soon gestated and saw light as a son, Reuben. “Because God has looked upon my affliction, surely now my husband will love me,” she said to herself, looking into the eyes of her firstborn son. Rachel, meanwhile, was cursed with unending and painful menstruation. She begged her husband for patience and for experimentation. Jacob sodomized her time and time again, leaving his seed where nothing could grow. When Rachel slept, Leah seduced their husband, homely though she was, with a wide array of sexual decadence. Cheating Reuben his share, she had her husband feed from her chest while she encouraged his arousal with her hands. Drunk on milk, he would slam into her, covering her lusterless face with his hands as he drove in and out, drawing and drooling milk in equal measures.

Soon, Leah’s lactose embryo began to grow and she bore another son, Simon. With God on her side, she began to take her husband while he slept. Fellating him gently, then vigorously, then steadily before hopping atop him just before climax. Like this, Leah earned a fetus sonorous, a third son, Levi. That night, she prayed, “Now this time my husband will be joined to me, because I have borne him three sons.” For her part, Rachel exhausted herself trying to conceive. Her menstrual cycle had become more regular, but even still, no position, no vigor, and no day in the month bore fruit. Meanwhile, Leah gave Jacob a fourth son, Judah, having hardly tried at all.

Rachel was beside herself with envy for her sister and cried out, “Give me children, or I shall die!” Unimpressed, Jacob asked, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” In desperation, Rachel sought a surrogate—her maid Bilhah—and challenged her husband, “Go in to her, that she may bear upon my knees, and even I may have children through her.” Jacob contemplated the situation silently. As he did, Bilhah and Rachel fell to their knees and dropped his trousers. He was half-hard and happy to receive encouragement. With Rachel on his nuts and Bilhah on his cock, the women positioned themselves appropriately for their role: wife the stimulator, maid the receiver. Jacob hoped to comfort his wife some by demeaning his maid, so he drew back and threw Bilhah to the wall. Rachel grabbed the slave girl’s ass and spread it open quick enough to make her sphincter wince. Lathered in spit, Jacob’s cock quickly pushed past all anal resistance. His wife kissed him, pleased that he chose to hurt their intermediary. Bilhah whined and whimpered as her asshole gaped and gobbled rhythmically. Jacob enjoyed the sadism of it almost as much as his wife, but soon it was time to arrange the women for the main event. He had Rachel lie on the bed, the bottom half of her legs dangling off the side and then plopped Bilhah almost exactly on top of her, only with her legs spread a bit wider. Jacob had gone ass-to-mouth with both his wives many times, but strangely, he had never gone ass-to-pussy with either of them. It was a first for Bilhah, too, and she shuddered as Rachel’s arms wrapped around her, positioning her just right. Jacob slipped in and muttered, “Well, if I don’t get a son, at least you’ll get a yeast infection,” laughing wryly. Her pussy felt loose compared to her ass, but the practice of having two wives had given Jacob plenty of stamina and he thrusted harder and harder each time. When he finally finished, his wife forced Bilhah to clean her husband’s cock one inch at a time with her tongue. Only 63 weeks later, Bilhah bore Jacob a son, Dan, and Rachel praised the heavens: “God has judged me and has also heard my voice.”

Rachel was pleased, but still envious of her sister’s four sons. So once again, she brought Bilhah to the master bedroom. Bilhah proved more pliant this time and worked with Rachel as a teammate. Together the two performed for the man of the house, letting him masturbate as their tongues roved over each other’s bodies, expanding every orifice and whetting every closeted appetite. The two women, slave and mistress, climaxed as one before surrendering their bodies to their shared patriarch. With Bilhah’s ass on the edge of the bed and Rachel’s head dangling over it, Jacob went from one to the other. Rachel’s saliva lubricated Bilhah’s pussy; Bilhah’s juice lubricated Rachel’s throat. And when Jacob groaned and stopped wandering from Bilhah, in no time did Rachel stimulate him from behind, teasing his ass with her tongue and working his nuts with her hands. When he finally erupted, all three knew it was a conceiving ejaculation. In nine months, Bilhah and Rachel bore Jacob a second son, Naph’tali. Eyes to the sky, Rachel said, “With mighty wrestlings I have rested with my sister, and I have prevailed.”

Then it was Leah’s turn to be envious. The tables had turned and now it was she who could not conceive, try as she might. Her menstruation did not become irregular, but stopped altogether. Meanwhile, Jacob’s anal affinity only grew. In desperation, Leah took her maid, Zilpah, and gave her to Jacob. By now, all the members of the house knew of the many trespasses, entanglements, and enticements. So Zilpah sought advice from each of the womenfolk and prayed for guidance.

That night, Rachel, Leah, and even Bilhah all stayed awake with their ears pressed against the walls, whispering amongst themselves. They gossiped, divined, and estimated. But the specifics of the thrashings were not apparent, and all three women went to bed without a clue. In the morning, Zilpah emerged limping, her gait casting a grimace on Leah and a glow on Rachel and Bilhah. But in three months she was showing, and in another six, she bore Gad as Leah proclaimed, “Good fortune!”

Years after, Leah negotiated another child from her husband. Jacob was caught in a conundrum. What is a sodomite desperate for heirs to do? Husband and wife went through a list of devils that had hopped on his shoulders and agreed that for their fulfillment, he would take Zilpah as a groom takes a bride. That night, tied up like the slave she was, Zilpah learned of her cross to bear. Enchained, whipped, and prodded, she emerged from the foreplay bloodied and bruised. When she blew Jacob, she chugged piss; when she ate Leah, the same. As her master fucked her ass, her mistress the fingered it and fed each finger back to her. Jacob took her ass-to-mouth as his wife choked her. After a few minutes, she vomited down her breasts, this new filth only partially washing away the urine. And only after that did Jacob deign to sink his seed where it matters most. And like that, Leah had another son, Asher, saying unto the world, “Happy am I.”