It Never Hurts to Ask
Perhaps no common saying is less true than that one. “It never hurts to ask.” Give me a break! Go ask some chicks to fuck you. Or your girlfriend to indulge your greatest fantasy. It’ll hurt to ask. Who the fuck came up with that saying?
Plagiary
If I could have a perfectly plagiarized life, I think it’d be like this:
- Cock: Scott Nails
- Affect: Rocco
- Ass: Eva Mendes
- Lips: Scarlett Johansson
- Hips: Marilyn Monroe
- Nose: Keira Knightley
- Hair: Sasha Grey
- Prose: Raymond Carver
- Belief: Yukio Mishima
- Gender: Divine
- Impression: Audrey Hepburn
- Humor: Pedro Almodóvar
- Pout: Chloë Sevigny
- Chest: Channing Tatum
- Smile: James Dean
- Tits: Eva Longoria
- Laugh: Mariel Hemingway
Wow, this is likely the most pointless and uninteresting thing I have ever written. Good thing it’s plagiarized.
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“It Never Hurts to Ask” and “Plagiary” are excerpts from Richard Power’s new memoir, Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert. You can purchase the book from Terror House Press here.
Richard Power is the author of Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert, available from Terror House Press.
