The paradox of breast milk and fucking is this: of all the bodily fluids we can secrete, milk is the only one whose purpose is to be consumed, yet consuming it carnally is a great taboo. Before you start comparing milk to piss, anal mucus, or even shit, take a step back. Saliva, the most universally exchanged bodily fluid, is neutral at best. At worst, it’s a very effective germ carrier. The next two most commonly swapped substances aren’t much better: pussy juice is acidic, and cum is bitter.

Milk, however, is good for you. Human milk is even healthier than animal milk, and the ability to produce it is a sign of fertility and health. Any unhealthy swine can cum or get wet, but only women capable of bearing children can lactate. Are you going to be able to find exceptions to that sentence? Sure, but on the whole, it’s true. On top of that, it’s a myth that women can only lactate if they’ve recently given birth. You can get there with a little effort irrespective of how many babies you’ve spit out.

So: fertile women can make milk and milk is good for you. Why the taboo? When you eat a girl out, you’re lapping up plenty of juice, and you think nothing of it. Yet nearly all men go down on women, but not terribly many would be up for getting sprayed by milk. Hell, it’s possible that most men would eat ass before they’d suck a tit dry.

This is absurd. I’ve always liked the idea of lapping up breast milk, but have never found an opportunity to do so. Ass-to-mouth is everywhere in porn, but milk is somehow elusive. How does that make sense? It seems to me that it could really add a lot to an incest fantasy. And since there is so much “fake incest” porn, why is there not more breast milk? A guy walking in on his stepmom milking herself who then asks if he’d like a taste? Or how about a new teenage mom who asks her stepbrother to fetch her a bottle? Pornographers are always looking to break new ground; why are they holding off on this? And if some directors are reading this, two more items for you on this matter: milk as lube for anal, and milky titty-fucking.

Is it because so many porn stars have fake tits, which complicates lactation? Weak excuse. Fake tits are terrible, and plenty of performers don’t have them anyway. Would it be too much work to get yourself to the point of lactation? Also not a good excuse. This is America: be innovative and work hard and whatever.

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“On Milk” is an excerpt from Richard Power’s new memoir, Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert. You can purchase the book from Terror House Press here.