I’ve Been Meaning to Tell You

It had been on your mind for some time,
But you don’t share that,
There’s no need,
And once you tell her,
There’s no going back,
Once you tell her,
You’re really out there,
And you don’t want to say it if you don’t mean it,
You feel a bit silly,
Because you’re exposed,
Or about to be,
And because you aren’t quite sure how it’s supposed to feel,
You’ve just read a lot about it,
And seen movies,
And heard stories,
And then there’s Neruda’s stuff,
You’ve always liked a bit of romance on the literature front,
Maybe because you wanted to live vicariously through your books,
You’re feeling relaxed,
Relaxed and also anxious,
Your right shoulder is touching her left shoulder,
You’re staring at the ceiling,
Staring at nothing in particular,
You assume that’s what she’s doing,
Though you don’t really know,
And of course you don’t know where her head is at,
You just know where your head is at,
And then you can feel your heart,
It feels like it’s trying push its way out of your chest,
And you feel short of breath,
Your lips are dry,
Time for lip balm,
And then the water on the bedside table,
And then you lie back down,
Your right shoulder is touching her left shoulder,
You feel like you’re about to cry,
Because you are,
And now you know that there’s no turning back,
It’s time,
Oh hi,
There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,
What’s that,
I love you,
I’ve been meaning to tell you that I love you,
There’s a brief pause,
And then you turn right,
And she turns left,
And you can’t believe it’s taken this long,
For you to feel this,
Feel like this,
Be like this,
With someone else,
And you’re glad you waited,
For the right person,
Because this feels amazing,
Better than amazing,
You don’t know how it could be any better.
Because it can’t.

Now You Know

You turn right,
There she is,
It’s been a while,
Several months,
Falling in love feels so close,
And yet so far,
A memory,
Distant and yet close,
Moments you’ll never forget,
Moments you’re trying to forget too,
The exchange is brief,
Oh hey,
How’s it going,
All good,
How’s it going with you,
I’m good,
Surprised to see you here at this time,
Just stepped away for a bit,
It was good seeing you,
You turn left,
More shopping left to do,
You haven’t hardened your heart,
She doesn’t know that,
She doesn’t need to know,
Not exactly something you’d just offer up,
But you haven’t hardened your heart,
And that’s harder,
Doing it that way,
And you think about it for a bit,
And you’re sure that you want to do it that way,
Your heart,
Wide open,
Banged up,
But undeterred,
And you’re still doing it,
Following it,
Your heart,
And in that moment,
You’ve never been surer,
And that feels nice,
Because there are no practice sessions,
Only the real thing,
And because the search for truth,
Must go on,
And because the search for love,
Can and must continue,
Because there are no practice sessions,
Only the real thing,
And because now you know,
How wonderful it can be.