numb the day

the fog starts to thicken
in the morning and a
writer from maine licks
his chops

i roll over in bed and
wonder why the pillows
aren’t showing me any
affection

that’s not cocaine on
the night stand, that’s
dust

the left knee locks up
every morning now

there isn’t enough alcohol
to put in the coffee to
numb the day

those endless opportunities
of my youth were wasted

like usual

an old friend lives by the sea

i know if i go visit him, we’d
both get drunk and then see
who could swim the farthest

i have no interest
in that kind of death

i’d like something so brutal
dental records won’t even
help identify the body

i figure i’d be saving the
family the money needed
for a cremation

a random day in america

a purple daydream gets interrupted by
gunfire

just a random tuesday in america

i try to never piss off the old people

they don’t have that far to carry
that grudge

here comes the rain, cold and endless

i’d like to curl into a ball and be like
a cat and see where i could lick

i hear a mariachi band playing in
my dreams

a lovely senorita is dancing and then
throwing her drink in my face

cheap tequila

i wouldn’t drink that shit either

pain is an amusement park ride where
your ass is too big for the seat but they
strap you in anyways

thirty minutes away from forever

her arms never looked so far away
before

you think of a car accident from years
ago and a black woman screaming

she thought you had died

what a beautiful day

in all the pain and misery

and somewhere between
two deep breaths you
realize she never loved
you

what a list that has become
after all these years

and sure

a few good ones slipped
right through your fingers

but the majority would
have killed you before
you could have any fun

all you ever wanted was
to be loved and broken
in two

left to create beauty in all
the pain and misery life
tends to shovel on you

like shit,
like roadkill,
like the coal in your
grandmother’s basement

the house where you were
molested and learned how
to use a butcher’s knife to
get your way

there really is only a path
or two to go from that
childhood

these sad state of affairs
were honestly to be
expected