Believe it or not (by which I mean: believe it), if you regularly watch porn for years and years, your sexuality changes. Not just a little, either. Sure, you discover kinks you didn’t know existed before and get into them because of porn. And yes, the porn you watch steadily becomes more and more hardcore as you need bigger and bigger doses of intensity to keep your “porn high” going. Those two facts are fairly well known. What I’m talking about is more fundamental: sex preferences. A straight porn addict who doesn’t get treatment or even try and abstain can become a gay porn addict after a decade or so. Pretend you’re Tyler Durden and go to a porn addict meeting and you’ll hear all about it. On a long enough time scale, all porn addicts become cocksmokers.

It is hard to explain why; on some level, you either get it or you don’t. Simply put, porn addicts just need new inputs, and after a decade or so, they have expended every existing kind of input that is not gay. The clock restarts if you switch to gay. Once you’ve made the jump, you can blow through all the sub-genres again as if they were brand new: interracial, bukkake, gang bang, faux-incest, May-December, cuckold, and so on. On top of that, porn addicts are obsessed with cocks, even the straight ones. Straight porn is surprisingly cock-centric. Much is made of the size of cocks in straight porn, and the cocks are often the needle of the camera’s compass. In blowjob scenes, the cock is the only sexual organ on camera. Ditto for the facial (or “money shot” as they say) that nearly every scene ends on. Yes, I know, the focus of all this is the woman’s face, not the man’s cock. But watch that stuff for tens of thousands of hours or more, and you get pretty comfortable with looking at huge cocks all the time. At some point, perhaps after Malcolm Gladwell’s magical 10,000th hour, porn addicts develop a Stockholm Syndrome towards cocks. Seeing cock stops being a necessary evil in porn consumption and starts being part of the landscape. Then it starts being an integral part of the experience.

This affinity for cock that porn addicts develop does not make them gay. They are not attracted to men. They do not want to have sex with men. Their sexuality is something different, something more nebulous. In a sense, they become the purest kind of voyeurs: they like all sex so long as they are watching it. The cock obsession is also why there is so much more tranny porn than you might think. A dolled-up woman with a huge cock is the most pornographic thing imaginable; the creature is essentially an “all in one” package for what dedicated porn viewers are looking for: women and cock. That is why being attracted to trannies is not a gay thing. Why would someone attracted to men want the owner of a penis to look like a woman? That would be like labeling as straight a man who wanted to fuck someone who looked just like a man, but had a pussy. Straight that is not, but it isn’t really gay either. It’s its own thing.

Point being: porn gets deep into your sexuality in a way that is not fully appreciated by normies. Sometimes this means you’ll get into trannies, sometimes it means you’ll get into gay porn, and sometimes it means you’ll fall into something even weirder, such as bestiality or kiddie porn. Once you’ve strapped into your porn addiction, there’s no telling what might happen after a few years.

I have not gotten too bad yet, but last month I came across the first sign that my sexuality is being pornified. It was startling when I realized it, and it frightens me now thinking about it. I am only in my twenties and I have a long way to go before porn stops messing with my libido. If the distortion is happening now, things are pretty much guaranteed to get beyond fucking weird by the time I’m 40. Since clichés are all too real, it happened on 4chan. The thread was about first gay experiences, with the obvious implication that the posters were straight men. I was hard by the end of the first story:

>I blew 3 of my friends at once. I was 21 at the time.
>2 of the 3 were in relationships with women
>All three knew I was a virgin and kinda beta
>They started to poke fun at me and started calling me a faggot etc…
>One friend goes to piss and then comes back with his dick still out (it was big, even when flaccid)
>Started to wave it in front of my face and tried to slap me with it
>Other 2 friends laughing as he kinda chased me around the room
>Eventually I give in and let him ‘catch me’ pushes me on the bed and shoves his dick in my mouth
>I started going at it, my other 2 friends go silent
>Literally sucking in silence for a good 5 min
>My friend cums pretty quickly
>Get up and see my other two friends stroking their own dicks while sitting on the bed
>I go up and started sucking them off (there [sic] dicks are less impressive than my other friends but I don’t really care this point
>One of them eventually comes but the other goes flaccid and doesn’t finish
>We all go to bed
>The next morning, the friend that I blew first wakes me up and takes me into the bathroom where he makes me suck his dick in the shower
>Cums again and then we both finish showering
>No one talks about what happens for the rest of vacation
>Once was over the Summer, I was hanging at his place [I believe he meant to write, “One the Summer was over,” — ed.]
>Playing videos games in the basement
>He just broke up with his gf and was already banging some new chick
>He was describing all this to me and then started asking me if I thought that was hot etc…
>Asked me if I still thought about what happened in the hotel room, I admitted I do
>Asked me if I want to suck his dick again
>Said I do
>He pulled down his gym shorts and revealed his hard dick
>Sucked him for about 20 min before he came on my face
>2nd time was last year
>He was moving to a different part of the country
>This time I initiated it all and said I wanted to suck his dick before he left as a going away present (at this point I’ve just accepted that I crave dick, or at least his dick)
>My parents were away so I had the house to myself
>He came over and I sucked him again after we had some drinks
>Over the course of maybe 10 hours I blew him 3 times
>We were watching movies on netflix and I spent most of the time between his legs with his cock in my mouth
>Before the 3rd time I blew him he asked me if he could fuck my ass but I said no (kinda regret not letting him do it); told him we could shower again together instead but he didn’t want to
>I didn’t want to do anal but I also didn’t want to disappoint him so I told him I could put on my mom’s lingerie and suck him (he had often commented that he wanted to fuck my mom and jerked off to the thought of it)
>He agreed and I put on panties, a bra, and stockings and blew him
>As I blew him he got really dirty saying things like he wants to fuck my mom while I watch, that I’m a sissy faggot, etc…

I did not get hard to anything else in this thread, but there’s something about this story. The spontaneity of the opening act is superb. The domination in the middle act is good. And the final blowjob is divine. Having a guy dress in his mother’s clothes and blow you while you talk about fucking her and having him watch. That is out of this world. I have not yet developed that affinity for cocks, but I clearly feel neutral toward them. What I do need is more crazy setups, more degradation, more domination, and probably most importantly, more shattered taboos. This scenario, the very last one, had new versions of everything in the above list. So I loved it, homosexuality be damned.

I decided it would be a mistake to jerk off to it. But I did screenshot the story and save it. Now I have written it all out, saving it in another form. It is almost certainly just a matter of time. Down the rabbit hole I go. Wanna join me?