It’s strange really, but at least superficially it started because my dad got a bee in his bonnet about “cleaning up” my potty mouth. I had started swearing casually at some point in middle school, and at the time, no one considered it to be a big deal, I guess that’s probably why I don’t even really remember when it started. But then the summer before my sophomore year, he just started snapping at me whenever I dropped even a “hell” or a “damn.” He did that corny thing where he tallied all the swears I said on this stupid whiteboard that he hung above a little jar, where I was supposed to drop change into whenever I was “caught” cussing. It was like something he saw in some sitcom and then decided to run with, as if I were twelve or something.

I pretty much ignored it, really. Like, he kept adding tallies to the board, but I would just roll my eyes and basically never put money in the jar.

Then there was this Saturday night when I came home kinda drunk after chilling with my girlfriends. Normally when I do that, I just go straight from the front door to my bedroom upstairs to make sure I don’t get busted, but that night, I had the drunk munchies, so I tried to quickly grab some stuff from the kitchen. As luck would have it, I lost my balance a step or two from the fridge and full on ate shit, which woke up my dad. He came into the kitchen and I was sprawled out spread eagle on the floor mumbling “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” over and over in pain. He got pissed and started yelling and shit, adding all these tallies to the board. It’s all pretty blurry, but I finally picked myself up and just ran upstairs. I passed out in my bed, like, right away, so I don’t really know if he tried to follow me to my room to keep yelling or whatever.

The next day, I’m hungover and watching the game. My mom is doing some dumb church thing and my little brother was with whatever friend playing Fortnite all day. So, it was just my dad and I, and I can tell that he is still super heated. I’m feeling way too crappy to deal with him, so we’re just avoiding each other all day and there’s all this tension in the air. Since I’m cursed though, he comes into the living room right as the Rams are fucking blowing it. Between them being retarded and me feeling like every lightbulb in the house is as bright and as hot as the fucking sun, I’m all like, “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Not great timing. My dad erupts and goes on this blitzkrieg rant. At the end of it, I’m just sitting there like, “Are you fucking done? Because their ain’t enough aspirin on the planet to let me deal with this.” Finally, he stops and we’re just staring at one another, him standing in front of the TV, me laid out on the couch. Then, like, the energy in the room just changed. His shoulders slump in this weird way I can’t describe and his face got lighter, or brighter, or something.

I can remember the moment perfectly, but for some reason how exactly he said it I can’t remember. The gist of it was, “How can such a beautiful and sweet girl like you be vulgar and sleazy? This just can’t be.” Then, out of nowhere, he is next to me on the couch and he says, “Nothing so filthy should come out of such a pretty mouth.” Then he kisses me, and it is like, not, a dad kiss. He like kiss kisses me. It really catches me off guard, I mean, who would’ve expected that? And then it was just like muscle memory or something, because I start kissing him back. More than anything what I remember thinking is how embarrassed I was that my mouth was super-dry from being hungover, and how that is like, basically bad etiquette, to kiss with drymouth. But then it was like, well, drymouth or not, this is happening, so like make the most of it. And the thing was, he was a really good kisser, like it was immediately obvious, so I’m kissing him back, and we’re making out, and I’m like “fuck, he’s so good at this,” and here I am with drymouth. It was only when he pulled back that I was like, “Fuck, this is my dad. Like: dad.”

So here we are, daddy and daughter on this couch, and I’m like “What. The. Fuck.” and also trying to figure out if he’s freaking out right now, too. Then he says all sly-like, “See? That’s a pretty princess mouth, and I won’t let you foul it up. Follow me.” Maybe I shouldn’t have, or maybe you think I’m crazy for not dialing 911 or running out the front door or whatever, but honestly, it was like, “Well, it can’t really get any weirder; it was like, if you’ve already had 15 shots at a party, why not do 20? Like, is that really logical?”

Anyway, Dad leads me to the main bathroom and shoves me so I’m right in front of the vanity and its big mirror. I gotta say, everything that happens next is in like, super fast-forward mode, like, everything just happened so fast you wouldn’t believe it. It was like, there wasn’t time enough to even breath, much less think. Then he grabs the back waistband of my hangover sweats and tugs it down so my butt is like poppin’ out. Like, I’ve got this cute little bubble butt, makes a lot of my girlfriends jealous, and when I’m hungover and not eating, somehow like, with no food in my stomach, my hips and my belly get smoother and flatter so my bubble butt gets, like juicier, like it pops more, like I’m one of those African dolls you see at whatever museum. I know that’s what my ass looked like right then, and like, I can’t say this without blushing, but I gotta say I was super proud. It was like, “Yeah, my booty is at its best right now and that shit is so good my own fuckin’ dad has gotta take a look.” So I say, “You like that thick ass, Dad? You been thinkin’ about it? Been scopin’ it out before?” and I kinda smile at him. He doesn’t say anything, though; he just pushes my thong off to one side.

I had never had a guy play with my ass before, so when he just shot a finger up there, it really blew my mind. It was so intense, and it was not what I thought he was gonna do. I remember just grabbing onto the corners of the vanity, holding on for dear life, like there was a wind that was gonna blow me away if I let go. I remember gasping, too, and my instincts kicked in and I bent forward as much as I could so he could get in me easier, so my forehead is like right up against the mirror. It felt good, but it was so overwhelming, it was like seeing a new color for the first time. Once he got all the way up my ass, he held it there for a minute, just wiggling his finger a little. When he pulled out, he did it slow enough that I could feel each knuckle as it went out. Again, I gotta say: it felt good.

He pulls out all the way, and with his other hand, he grabs my throat and straightens me up again. We’re looking at one another dead in the eye again, but this time through a mirror. My ass is backed-up into his crotch and I can feel his hard-on, and that’s what really got me going, it was like, feeling that cock on my ass, even through his pants, just busted down a border wall in my pussy and I could feel myself gushing out. Then he says, “Well, if you’re going to be a filthy girl with a filthy mouth, I’m going to treat you accordingly,” and he takes that finger he got up my ass and pops it right into my mouth.

If I hadn’t started gushing pussy juice like ten seconds before, I would have never rolled with it, but I was just so turned on it was like I would’ve been down for anything. He tells me to suck on that finger and I do. The taste isn’t so bad as you’d think, not even close, plus it makes my mouth water, which, with my hangover, was definitely appreciated. We’re standing there, his cock digging into my ass, his hand clenching my throat, and my mouth sucking on this fucking finger like a lollipop and he says, “How many tallies do you have on the board?” He takes his finger out of my mouth and I’m like, “I dunno, a bunch, like 20 or something.” And he goes, “Well, you just took one off,” and bang that finger is up my ass again. With his finger all wet from my spit, it slides all the way up immediately this time, and again, it’s so good but so intense and I grab the vanity and bend forward and gasp but it’s like: fuck, my pussy definitely likes this. Just like the first time he keeps his finger in me and is trying to move it in little circles or something before he pulls out. It feels good going in, but it feels even better coming out.

It’s right as the last knuckle goes out that I get it: he’s gonna finger my ass and make me suck it for every tally. Like, “if you’re gonna talk nasty, you gotta be nasty; if that mouth says shit, it’s gonna eat shit, too.” This all clicks in my head right as he puts that finger back in my mouth and says, “Suck on it.” I do, I suck on it, I suck on it long and hard. I can taste my ass all over it, I run my tongue all over his nailbed and the taste is so overwhelming it’s like I’m gonna pass out, but at the same time, my pussy is saying to me, “pass out and I’ll kill us both, this is just too good,” and I just keep gushing. He pulls his finger out of my mouth for the second time and inspects it, holding it still in front of both of our faces and he says, “Good work, Hailey.” Even though I know it’s coming this time, when it goes back up my ass, I’m still stunned at first, like a deer in the headlights or something, maybe more like the first time you ever get sucker punched and have the wind knocked out of you.

Over and over, he fingers my ass a little, stuffs the same finger down my throat, and then starts the whole thing again. At some point, after the fifth or sixth fingering, I get control enough of my senses that I start playing with myself. Dad is so concentrated on fingering my ass and my mouth I have no idea if he even really notices, but my left hand is between my thighs going crazy for the rest of it. I’ve hooked up with a few guys here and there at parties and stuff, and this is definitely the wettest I’ve ever been. Every time, I catch myself thinking, “but this is your dad, Hailey,” but my whole brain just responds, “yeah, you’re so hot your own fucking dad wants a piece of your ass.” It’s a compliment; it really is. I mean, you’ve gotta be super hot for your own dad to want to fuck you. It’s a few minutes of deep breathes and eating ass before we hit 20. It was around number 18 that I came, and again, I don’t even think Dad really noticed. My ass got even more sensitive after I came, so much so that I really and truly couldn’t have taken any more. So, he says, “and that’s 20,” and there we are. My thighs are covered in cum and my mouth is like, not different from a toilet. He’s still got his hand on my throat and it feels so good there, it’s so strong and firm and warm and its clasping my neck with just the right amount of pressure.

I’m in a daze from cumming and then having my ass fingered some more on top of that that I have no idea what to do or say next. I can’t be sure how long we just stood there for, but after however long, he pulls his cock out of his pants. It’s huge, with that classic bead of pre-cum glistening on the tip, and it doesn’t look like it could get much harder. He shoves it up against my ass and I tell him, “Gosh, Dad, I’m sorry, I guess I kinda owe it to you to get you off, too.” I reach around and grab his balls to massage them a little as he rubs his cock up and down my ass. It feels good, it’s warm and textured in this really nice way, and it has just the right amount of give to it, like a really well-made massager or something.

He tells me that as my father, he’s got a right to fuck any hole of mine he wants. The way he says it is just so certain and sexy, suddenly it’s like every other guy I’ve ever been with was some dumb seventh grader. I grab his balls tighter and tell him I know that, that I’m excited for him to take any and every hole he wants. He tells me he wants to see my tits and I slip off my T-shirt. He grabbed one tit in each of his hands and just sort of held them there, looking at them in the mirror, with me looking at him in the mirror, my arms twisted behind me so I could feel his strong shoulders.

“How’s your mouth feel?”

“It feels like a fucking toilet seat, Dad.”

“Good. That’s how all improper ladies of this house are going to get treated.”

He gave me a little kiss on the mouth, the first dad kiss he’d given me that day, and then pushed me on to the toilet. At that point, I really was ready to freak out, like, “whoa, this is about to go way too far,” but it wasn’t what I’d thought. I don’t know how he knew this, but me sitting on that toilet made me the exact right height to blow him, and that was what he wanted.

It was rough going, though. I’d only ever blown two guys before that day, one of them once and the other one twice, and neither had a cock like my dad’s. And this wasn’t one of those “romantic blowjobs” or whatever. He was tugging on my hair, thrusting his hips, everything. I was getting ready to pull back and tell him to finish in my pussy when he said, “Well, if a dirty girl doesn’t mind eating shit, we’re just going to have to make her realize there’s more than one way of making a potty mouth pay.” With that, he put one hand around my lower jaw and the other on the back of my head, both hands holding me with enough force to bruise the skin. Then he started to slam his cock in and out of my throat with everything he had. I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head just as much as I could feel my pussy lips getting soaked through and start to drip.

With the hangover I had going, it only took like 15 seconds for me to puke, and puke I did. You’d have thought I’d spent the entire day at the buffet from how much came out of me. Volley after volley of puke flooded my mouth, burst out from the space between my lips and his cock, and then showered down onto my chest. He didn’t stop thrusting or even slow down; he just kept going as I puked and puked. Finally, when there wasn’t a drop of fluid left in my whole body, he pulled his cock out of my mouth and looks me over. I must have been a war zone, but his cock, all covered in my guts, was as hard as ever. “Dirty mouth, dirty girl,” he said. He started jerking off then, and in no time at all he came, shooting his cum all up and down my puke-drenched naked body.