Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Two-Thirds

Now seems like the right time to remind you of the threesome only two of us participated in. We were at that terrible party with all those…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Your Idea

The time before that was less great, especially in the long run. But yes, for the record, it was your super drunken idea for us to double-team your…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Wasted

Your drunk lesbianism never made any sense to me. Granted, drinking on the whole isn’t something that’s ever made much sense to me, but even still,…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Faces

If you had to take a guess, how many times do you think I gave you a facial? People say it's demeaning, but that's only for folks who haven’t tried…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Stupid

How about that time we argued about whether or not I was backhandedly calling you stupid? Do you fucking remember that, you bitch? I want to lay it…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: First

Do you remember when we first started hooking up? All the way back in high school? We both skipped class and made out in an empty classroom. You did…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Avant-Garde

I remember after we were living on opposite coasts and I’d had a bad day. I called you on Skype or the Google video thing or whatever. I really…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: I Can’t Draw

Something I remember really distinctly is the contours of your asshole. If you put your tongue as far into a sphincter as possible, as often as…