Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Future
By 2075, men’s rooms will be equipped with women. There’ll be an extra stall or two where you can get your dick sucked while another guy takes a dump…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “Words Can Hurt” and “Dirty Marxist”
Words Can Hurt Please send this to as many people as you can who work in the San Fernando Valley. A list of things to stop saying in porn, to keep…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: On Piss
Piss is interesting, to say the least. In terms of perversions, it’s a cross between assholes and slapping. Slapping is a two-way street. Slapping…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “Crying” and “Reactions”
Crying You cried a lot during our two years together. Girls are like that: they cry a lot. I feel bad about basically every time you cried. Going…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Prison
Like many other indulgent writer types, I often wonder if I’ll end up in prison. It just takes one dystopian government, you know. Unlike other…
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Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Impossible But Desired
I wish women could be fucked through their panties. You know how much I love panties. Booty shorts and thongs can be fine, but panties are unmatched.…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “Remembering” and “Normal”
Remembering I just want to remember everything right. Please tell me if I’m forgetting anything. I promise not to prod you again after you answer.…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: The Oval Office
George Washington? Wooden teeth, definitely head. John Adams? Solid black latex. For his family, of course. Thomas Jefferson? Ménage à trois! Dude…
Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Another Poem
Whenever I dig into the complete work of a poet I like, I always find that their later work totally sucks. A hipster as fuck opinion, I know, but…
