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Notes from the Underground
On New Years Eve 2022
I wonder where the great
writers are, with their
furious alphabets and
poems, fighting endless
wars against mediocrity—
lighting the greatest fires
inside my heart. I think of
one that did this. He was
broke. Still a virgin. Living
on boiled rice and tap
water. Having imaginary
conversations every
day with Dostoyevsky’s
Underground Man and
Nietzsche’s Antichrist.
Weeping at the beauty
of nature. Snarling at
nearly every human
he saw. Handwriting
several poems a day,
that would never be
published. Never be
forgotten.
Dreams
Holding a copy of
the latest issue of
North Dakota Quarterly
in my hands I began
weeping. It took almost
twenty years to finally
get a poem in a college
magazine. Twenty years
from the day I made
the promise to my
young, uneducated
self, from a broken
family in one of the
worst suburbs in
Sydney, to attempt
something seemingly
impossible. Telling
you about it shortly
after. You were the
first not to laugh out
loud, saying you were
sure I would. Recalling
all the many losses
over all those many
years. But no loss
greater than you.
The Prize of Saturday Night
The bottle cost more than
he can afford. Drinks it
listening to old songs on
the radio. Memories fill
his tiny room, joys, pains.
When the bottle is empty,
he looks out the window
at the rising sun, smiles,
closes the blinds. Gets in
bed, soon falling asleep.
Dreaming of beautiful
women, that will never
dream of him.
A Tragic Ending
“Hemingway’s writing
got so dark at times, I
can completely understand
how he could finish his
life that way,” he said.
“Hemingway wasn’t
dark, it was humanity.
The light you saw in his
writing, was him.
Humanity was the rest
of it,” I said.
Paul Gauguin
Starving
with
syphilis
and
rotted
teeth.
Turning
long
colonised
Tahiti
into
paradise.
Brenton Booth lives in Sydney, Australia. Poetry and fiction of his has appeared in over 100 journals internationally. He has been nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize. His latest collection Bash the Keys Until They Scream is available from Epic Rites Press. To read more of his writing, visit his website here.