soft landing

i think i was supposed
to be your soft landing

an easy bounce back
after a shitty divorce

they obviously never
told you about my
demons

my haphazard way of
falling in love too soon

or the amount of pain
and chaos i can juggle
at the same time

so, the soft landing
became a burning
hell

but you always admitted
you had way more fun
than you thought these
old bones could ever
give you

plus, you know a few
tricks now so the next
man of your dreams
will never complain
again

and don’t worry

i’ll still be around if
you ever need a tune
up or just a refresher
on how to not give a
shit about what others
think of you

we all die in silence

you can embrace the pain
but never eliminate it

you can ride the wave
but you will never see
the shore again

sometimes the needle
brings joy

sometimes you die with
it still in your arm

none of it matters in the end

we all die in silence

screams trapped in a frozen
zombie-like void that even
the soul tends to ignore

i sometimes will whisper
to myself in my sleep
how death would be
the only way out of this

i yearn for the goodbye kiss

one last roll in the proverbial hay

one last time for a boy to dream
about something magical and it
has a chance of coming true

wipe the tears

men aren’t allowed to cry
in these parts

at least not with their dicks
in their hands

laughter is never enough

i had an
old girlfriend
ask me once
what i wanted
to smell like

i said warm
pussy

we shared a
wicked sense
of humor and
no venereal
diseases

she sent me
a letter that
said laughter
wasn’t enough

she wanted to
be with a rich
man and i
explained to
her poets didn’t
get rich until
they were dead

she wasn’t down
with the struggle

she sealed that
letter with a kiss

i amuse myself
all these years
later when i get
that letter out
and wonder
which lips
she used