as bad as it feels anymore

i come from a family
where if you can fart
and sneeze at the same
time you are considered

sadly, those awkward
feelings from my youth
never went away

i don’t think a woman
ever wanted to make
me a man

pity sex isn’t as bad
as it feels anymore

sometimes i look out
my window and smile
at the chaos

my mother warned me
that listening to that
music was going to
make me a sociopath

i agree, i used to tell her

anytime i put beethoven
on i feel like destroying
the world

my fellow man doesn’t
exist on the left or right
of this society

we’re busy watching
our decay push up
daisies from what
used to be

endless scars from life

a listless sunday morning

the taste of depression
fresh on my lips

i figure i have lived more
than half of my life now

no woman

no kids

endless scars from life

a gypsy once told me
i should burn everything
that reminds me of my
youth and just move
the fuck on

i asked her what to do
when you can’t afford
matches or gasoline

she laughed and
told me to fuck

once again

i wonder when this
country was ever great

i’m sure there is a
communist inside me
given the amount of
vodka i have consumed
in my life

i often wonder what i
could do if i could
actually sleep more
than four hours a night

flowers that never bloom

i don’t believe
in luck, good
or bad

it’s only life
and then you

become fertilizer
for flowers that
never bloom

a tree that gets
blown over in
a storm

dissolved in an
ocean full of the
rest of trash called