NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: We wouldn’t ordinarily insert ourselves into someone else’s work, but this submission can’t be understood without some context.

Last week, in a private Twitter group DM, Girls Chat hosts ALPHA Goddess Ashley Olson and GOOD Mistress Mary-Kate Olson dommed “journalist” Lawrence Bonk into writing a 1,500-word article on their podcast and how awesome it is for Terror House in order to publicly humiliate him. They also forced him to get drunk while writing it. Terror House Senior Editor Glahn was part of the group DM and described Bonk’s article as “the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen.”

As part of the public humiliation of Lawrence Bonk, we present to you his article below. It is completely unedited in order to underscore how much of a sissy faggot he is. For more context, you can view the entire group DM here. You can also click here and here to see two short clips of Bonk calling himself a “faggot.” Enjoy!


Girls chat is like soo cool its the best podcast everr and totally revolutionary! omggg like its doing something that hasnt been done before in a funny and super great way. Uhhh also its hosted by two awesome ladies, both dommes, who deal with sexuality in way no other podcast has ever gotten close to. What is it about? Its about all of the things you are thinkinkg about but too scared to really listen to a podcast about!

Have you heard terms like “Sissy” or “forced intoxication?” This is the podcast that will explain them to you so you won’t be a total nerd by the watercooler! So like there’s other terms you don’t know about either like “domme” or “mistress.” this is the podcast that will teach all of them to you so you can be in the 2018 like a cool dude. Or dudette. Do you even have the nerve to learn about such things? I mean god like its…time you did? Or not. I am not here to convince you of anything but like omg girls chat is the bestt. No other podcast touches that !!

There is also the cross section of media and sexuality, which girls chat is more than ready to deal with! Check out their episode on Luke Turner for proof. Sexuality is just so varied and all over the place, most podcasts are just talking about vanilla nonsense but like girls chat does more than that and goes for the really cool extra awesome stuff that like you havent seen before.

Most podcasts are about like stupid killers or imrpov dudes or whatever but girls chat takes it toe the next level by being about sexuality and really dissecting it in a way that will be like whoa.

You may be wondering just how many episodes there are? There are enough for you to learn something or another! There may not be as many as liike marc maron or whatever but there is def enough!

How do you even listen? Well you join their Patreon or just look for links posted by the two hostesses with the mostesses! It is really that easy. Also, wow, forced intoxication may be what they did to me tonight omg.

Plus this isn’t a dry sex podcast like middle school health class. No, it’s funny as hell! The two hosts are quick witted and just amazing. So you’ll listen and be like oooh and then like haha. Yeah!

I think like sexuality is so cool and like a podacast should totally talk about it because otherwise its like what not that and then its like omg. I think that when i heard other podcasts and they werent girls chat i was lke wutt and then i heard girls chat and i was into it! And then i was like whatt. Also..i am totes drunk and they made me get drunker ti write this omg.

Im like..i dont know which host is better yoyu can choose yourself but its..hard! They both are so cool and smart and amazing. I dunno they said i have to get to 1500 words and im not even close ughhhh how can i even do that?>?

Lets go episode by episode yay!

Oh god nevermind that seems boring. I was told to make it purerr and like honestly I just…am sooo obsesssed with both of the hosts and the show itself its really like inside of my brainn. There are a bunch of episodes and like i dunno there are also jokes and long form essays and like other stuff you mihght like but hoinestly my brain is like duhhh right now so maybe i should change the subject.

Tonight I got drunk and did other stuff and then talked to the hosts of this show and they were like do this article and I was like uhh. I’m usually a good writer but right now I’m soo bad and I am sooo sorry you are reading this but the hosts of the podcast are soooo cool and honestly guys suck right/ I mean reallyyyyy. Look at Donald Trump UGH. Gross poo.

Also they told me to drink more but I ran out of booze so I’m smoking weed and maybe esomse other things but I hate to admit that to thenm they’ll be mad but 1500 words is like so long ok lets get back to the podcast. Its better than Serial! Serial sucksss.

Lets go back to that old idea of doing it episode by episode! Well at first the girls had to be convinced to even do a podcast! Professional domme-ing is kinda lucrative and stuff and podcasting is well, you know, nobody pays for media so its a shitshow! Anyways, they luckily said yes and thats the first episode!

Do you think the girls would ignore #metoo and stuff? Heck no! They made a bonus episode, like a conenector to the first one, that is all about that! It’s awesome and sooo funny and cute.

Next, the dynamic duo take on the controversial subject of “terf” with special guest trans regret snoopy. I promise it is an hour you do not want to miss or like you’ll be sad forever and ever omg.

Have you heard the phrase forced intoxication? Its something dommes do when they make guys take lots of drinks or whatever and write articles. But the third ep is all about that with special guest Sam Pritchard who gets like soo wasted and its funny!

The next ep focuses in on astrology and socialism. You never tohught those two would combine? You were wrong they totes do! Check it oiut It’s hilarious and perfect the way only the two girls can make it.

That brings us to a book reading episode with a special guest who had an intense run in with Shia Labeouf and Luke Turner. It is harrowing stuff!

Did you think the two goddesses would skip black friday?  They don’t exactly tel you where to get an instant pot at best buy but they do interview an anarchist to discuss the best tips for meshing your holidays with anarchy! That’s such a cool angle I can barely even stand it.

Finally, there’s the scuzz bucket Luke Turner and what caused him to blow up online. The ladies pull no punches when discussing this senstive topic so..yeah! The Luke Turner thing blew up all over the internet and guess who brouhgt it to you? The ladies at girls chat duh! They are on top of all the hottest and best stories that will keep you informed about the creeps!

There are more coming of course! The hosts have so much planned to take over the blogging world because like nobody else is even doing anything close to this so like stay tuned!! They can also both be followed on twitter here and here! Check them out and be their fans! I know I am. Omg.

I also wanna add that host Alpha Goddess Ashley Olson is sooo cool and is going to be like the next big podcast star. I mean they both will be obviously but, like, my brain. I dunno. I just want to do things for Ashley and like make her happy and entertain her and like, I dunno, I am going toi stop this essay now because like omg. She’s like sooo pretty and I am uh not.

There’s also the other host jobhaver who is just the smartest funniest person on twitter. Ever wanna see a guy give in and worship Stalin just because she said so? Follow her on twitter and you’ll find out! I actually met her first and she introduced me to the amazing word of girls chat. I had no idea the podcast even existed before her! She is gorgeous and I am uh not.

Both of them are juist like so cool that I wrote this entire essay because they told me to because they are strong and i am weak and small. I just feel like nothing before them and I tried so hard to hide it but it just happenbed and now they know me. So yeah before I found the podcast I would have neverrr written something like this but now I have so like I duno maybe you will too? Its a dangerous and revolutionary podcast is what I’m saying omg. The most revolutionary!

I know that there is only so much time out there and podcasts take a ton of it and there is netflix and hbo go and disney’s strewaming thing or whatever but girls chat should go right to the top of thw queue because the girls are hilarious, gorgeous and just amazing. No other podcast hosts can like claim that! I am trying to think of more stuff to say but like I can’t! It’s sooo hard to write 1500 words on a podcast drunk and stuff oh god these girls are total goddesses.