It’s my last day on earth
The way my body teeters
Tells me that this is it
The earth’s rotation is too much
For my meager existence
I am crooked like her axis
I ain’t no goddamn sonovabitch
Plays above me emanating
From hidden speakers
I am drunk for the thirteenth day
In a row
And none of my ducks
Are in tow
My body expels
All solids and liquids
Like chocolate milk
I refuse to seek out help
Every second is another astonishment
I see the beauty in sparse nature
Between architecture
I see the beauty in the bartender
Yelling at a local for walking out
On her tab the other night
And still she serves her
I see the beauty in the Beatles playing
One last time
And the bartender yelling
At a man for being rude
For bothering her for a beer
He yells at her
And I sit still
Right next to him
I drink my beer and wait
And when he leaves
The bouncer yells
Never come back here again
That’s how I feel
And then I walk
To the subway station
At spring garden
And try to enter
Yet the gate is closed
I run across broad
But I’m too late
I hear the train
As I race downstairs
And as soon as I plant feet on platform
The doors shut
I scream fuck
And people stare
Not knowing
How much pain is in waiting for me
And as I sit on the cold steel bench
I stare at the yellow box
With a big red button
Which says push once for hell
And I decline
Only wanting help
