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bEFORE eVERYTHING wENT dOWN
I watch the flies
outside
bzzing around
eating out rotting dead cat
rubbing their legs together
fucking
like tiny five-eyed six-legged dogs
with wings that can fly…
I’m a giant
and they are
747s
full of people
I start clapping them
out of the sky
and stomping them
into the ground
die humans
die
die
die—
my mom shouts
from the house
“johnny, are you ready for school?!”
I shout back
“yeah!”
I’m ready for school alright
remembering the dead
got a fruit fly infestation in my room
i don’t care
they’re so little and cute :)
but my roommate says it’s time to get rid of them,
they’re getting all over the apartment
pee-eww, is it stinky in here, my roommate says, holding his nose, waving his arms around,
throw out your garbage that’s where they’re coming from, he says
i spray febreeze
some gets in his eyes
ahh, he screams
he runs into the wall and falls down
he crawls to the bathroom and rinses his eyes for a minute in the bath spout
pussyboy, i yell jokingly
he hee hees
i throw out my trash and come back
and we clap and we clap and we clap
woohoo! yeah! yells my roommate
i think we got them all
he claps some more
and says goood job, teamwork
he hugs me for a long time and says i know you miss her
i pat his back and rub his head
smearing the flies from my hands into his hair
he goes back into his room
i go back into mine
shut the door
*
a couple hours later
i notice another fly
then another
and more and more
what the hell
…
then i notice where they’re coming from
under my bed
i lift the dust ruffle
and i see her
she’s not lookin too hot
i think i know where they’re coming from
i lift her skirt to hundreds of flies
feasting on her forbidden fruit!
damnit! i forgot about that whore,
i gotta get rid of her!
Follow Johnny on Twitter or he’ll give you the titter and the clitter and the splitter, dunk you in the shitter, then cover you in glitter and litter.