Interviewer George Hanson: I’m delighted to interview the president of the USA, Andrew Jackson. For those that have been out of touch, he was elected with 80 percent of the vote and has had a series of successes in his first term. Medical expenses have decreased with his promotion of remote diagnoses abetted by artificial intelligence. His diplomacy has curbed turmoil in the world with a concomitant 50 percent reduction of military expense. There is even a bipartisan discussion of dropping the two term limitation for him. First question: with all of your wins, could anything be going wrong?

President Andrew Jackson: Thanks for that glowing introduction. Well, I regret the name that Joe and Alice Jackson gave me. Who would want to be named after a very bad former president? Chuckles. With that slight exception, everything is going very well. My wife Sherry is healthy, happy and working on another best-selling novel. No grandchildren yet, but Andy and Josephine are happily married, so maybe soon.

Interviewer: What other projects do you have?

President: Unwanted pregnancies are down 50 percent in the last ten years, but we want them down to zero. No one should be forced to choose between an abortion and an unwanted child. Airline pollution is a tough nut to crack. We are working on it, but have not hit a home run or even a double on that project. At least ground transportation no longer pollutes the air. Exploiting the heat from the inner Earth to produce cheap and abundant electricity is another long range project. I may not be around to see it, but I’m sure it will happen.

Interviewer: You were born to an ordinary family and went to public schools. You did well, but not spectacularly. How did you become so successful?

President: Well, my parents and older sister were great. They supported and encouraged me at every step of the way. I’d have to give most of the credit to being a mutant.

Interviewer: That story is probably well known to most of our audience, but would like to explain what you mean by “mutant?”

President: The first thing that you should know is that I’m nothing like those old comic book characters, the X-Men. I can’t violate physical laws like becoming invisible or turning into the Hulk. In my case, I have a highly developed sense of smell. I can tell people’s emotions and health by smelling them. It is my good fortune that I don’t have to smell their butts. Chuckles.

Interviewer: That gives you a big advantage?

President: It certainly does. Is Mr. or Ms. X an ally or an opponent? Is he or she an egotist or empathetic? Does he or she want to take you to bed? I have to admit, except for Sheryl, it is usually no. All of those traits make dealing with people so much easier. The downside is that a lot of people with ill intent won’t get close to me, now that my secret is out, but at least I have a warning sign about them.

Interviewer: Tell us more about mutations in general.

President: As you so tactfully indicated, my success has been due to my personal skills rather than my intelligence, but I’ll try to give you “Mutations for Dummies.” Mutations are random changes to genetic structure. Over billions of years, by trial and error (most mutations are not successful), life went from single cell to all the varieties that we have today. Along the way, eyes (blues eyes are a recent introduction), lungs, arms, and legs showed up. People didn’t get everything on the menu. Other animals have a wider visual spectrum, a better sense of smell, and the ability to navigate by electro-magnetism. My mutation is an unusual form. Sometimes people have mutations from earlier on the evolutionary line. My father could wiggle his ears, something common in non-human mammals. Some people are born with vestigial gills, some can wiggle their ears as my father could, and some have tails, all things that were lost to us somewhere along the evolutionary line. I hit the jackpot with my outstanding sense of smell common in other animals, but missing in ordinary humans. I feel like cave fish which over generations lost their eyesight, but regained their eyesight after generations of living in the light.

Interviewer: Is your mutation unique?

President: No. I’m a big fan of history and I suspect that some huge historical figures had the ability. I only have suspicions, so I’ll leave it to others to guess who I’m thinking of. I know there are several now. As you know, my mutation grants a huge advantage to those who have it. I’ve identified it among a few among business and political leaders, and I won’t out them, but if you are negotiating with someone very successful, you might want to take a few steps back. Chuckles.

Interviewer: How has your special ability affected your personal life?

President: I always get nervous when Sherry is avoiding me and I rarely got within ten feet of my children when they were teenagers. Chuckles.

Interviewer: How do you see mutations such as yours affecting the future?

President: As I indicated, my mutation has been beneficial, and others have the same mutation, so I see it as a competitive advantage which will eventually dominate a future generation. In the meantime, when I’m optimistic, I think that it will lead to a better world. When I’m pessimistic, I think that it will give us a petty manipulative tyrant like Hitler or Stalin. I hope that this is a warning. Watch out for someone who seems to be able to tell you just what you want to hear. Guard your wallet and your political support.

Interviewer: Thanks for taking the time to talk to us today.

President: Give my best to Jane and the kids, and to quote one of my favorites songs from many decades ago, “Keep on Rocking in the Free World.”