Latest Submissions

Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: About July Fourth

Yes, I should not have just come over to the apartment and passed out in bed with you the way I did. I'd thought about doing it a bunch of times…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: An Exchange

"I know how this is gonna sound, but do you think it’s somehow possible that Neera Tanden is paying random women to come forward with accusations…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: “Blurred Reality” and “Legal”

Blurred Reality Since you left me, I’ve been taking a lot of Ritalin and binging porn like I did when I got my first laptop at 16. I’ve been writing…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: A Poem

Can you tell me how this poem ends? I know we broke up, but I could really use your help. As you know, Raymond Carver is great to get you going, but…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Trick

Our venture into ass-to-mouth started as a trick, you know. What had happened was that I had fucked you in the ass the night before, not showered,…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Two-Thirds

Now seems like the right time to remind you of the threesome only two of us participated in. We were at that terrible party with all those…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Your Idea

The time before that was less great, especially in the long run. But yes, for the record, it was your super drunken idea for us to double-team your…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Wasted

Your drunk lesbianism never made any sense to me. Granted, drinking on the whole isn’t something that’s ever made much sense to me, but even still,…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Faces

If you had to take a guess, how many times do you think I gave you a facial? People say it's demeaning, but that's only for folks who haven’t tried…


Letters from a Heartbroken Pervert: Stupid

How about that time we argued about whether or not I was backhandedly calling you stupid? Do you fucking remember that, you bitch? I want to lay it…