Latest Submissions

Knock Knock

Don’t answer the door. Never answer the door. This was the lesson that I learned at age five. “Strangers might be at the door,” my father would say.…


“Rebuttal, Rebuked” and “Ode to Capital”

Rebuttal, Rebuked I am masculine and I am toxic Traits that you hate and you find caustic I am a playboy and I am a thief Into your heart I sink my…


Hero Dick

Richard Hartshaw was only fifteen when he realised that he could ejaculate a horrifying boiling acid. The experience itself was highly traumatic.…


Trip of a Lifetime

I bashed my friend over the head with a family tragedy. We had to stop walking, and there in the doorway of a McDonald's, I told her the details.…


Elders

Sick, clammy bodies were writhing and heaving somewhere under the back starless sky, illuminated by neon garden lights of pink and teal. Across the…


“Faulkner’s Christmas,” “Indecent Calculations,” “Et Tu, Judy, Gwyneth, Barbra, and Meryl?,” and Other Poems

Faulkner's Christmas She hid in the bushes panting, emitting lustful grunts, waiting to be taken. Waiting for her black stud, Mr. Christmas, whose…


Limp Dicks and Other Reasons Why My Ex-Lover is a Dick, Part 2

VII. This brings us to Miriam Delirium McWhacko. Ms. McWhacko is what the Germans call a “foreskin fly”: a needy woman who hangs onto a man’s…


Gorilla Glass

The story of the stain-resistant gorilla glass that currently encases the 2018 Apple/Samsung device that you hold in your very hands, today, at this…


Chico

No, I’m saying the drug money. The drug money, you know, when the cops bought the drugs, they sold me the fucking---they had the money and they sold…


“Before the Harvest,” “But Not Always,” and “Insomniac Blues”

Before the Harvest A human ritual, monitored by medical professionals regulated by all governments sanctioned by the United Nations sponsored by…