“Your Inauguration Tote Bag,” “Embattled,” “Embattled, Part II,” and Other Poems

Your Inauguration Tote Bag Your inaugural tote bag, sir. I had just gone through three levels of security to be allowed into the stands so I could…


“Grand Canyon,” “Just Desserts,” “In China, Bathrooms Have No Stalls,” and Other Poems

Grand Canyon Men I know have given up. We are all told it is biological. Our bodies know the difference. Titty-bars attract the most. My best friend…


“History Abhors a Vacuum,” “The Indignities of Serfdom,” and “Phi Beta Crapper”

History Abhors a Vacuum Goebbels, Göring, Bormann, Speer, and Himmler used to meet at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, a cute little café in Berlin’s Anhalter…


“American Poetry,” “Vinegar Pie,” “Delmonico’s on the Mississippi,” and “Earthworms Here”

American Poetry Masculine existentialism, i.e., men looking forlornly into the middle distance, not too far, not too close. Masculine, because…


Morning-After Pills…and Drinks

Bill was over for the night and had decided to sleep over. His pilot was out sick and was having trouble finding a replacement. Bill was in bed with…


“Dead End,” “The Penguin Book of Human Verve,” “Passing,” and Other Poems

Dead End I visited my old college roommate, Bryce. Bryce McHatchen. Whatta nice guy! It’s been forty years. Forty. “Count them,” he said, as a…


“1959,” “Replacing Mascots,” “Catgut Ribbons,” and Other Poems

1959 When I was four Robert Lowell declared it the skunk hour. Those waddling stinkers, of which I was one, only less hairy, surely, but just as…


Chemistry

My feet always smell. That’s the problem. My wife says I am running on fumes. She says she is being asphyxiated. She says she is choking. I say……


Worse for Wear

Everything was fine until my parents said I should leave. She’d help me pack my bags as long as I didn’t disturb him. He was too busy shouting until…


“My Favorite Faulkner,” “Honestly,” “Dirty Harry,” and Other Poems

My Favorite Faulkner We’ll meet in Mississippi. Just name the spot. What about Biloxi, Clarksdale, or what would you say to somewhere in…