All Tomorrow’s Plans
drafts Hey I know this is weird but I’m going to kill myself tomorrow and I wanted to know if you’d be down to hang out before then. Listen, don’t…
Time Travel
The Present What happens when you run across the minefield, safely arriving to greener pastures, but see an enormous shadow in front of you? What…
The Lesson of 4Chan
Disclaimer: All quotes are from memory. Fuck off. Everybody loves PostSecret. It’s the little artsy project that could. You take (or make) a…
A Wasted Email
Subject: Such a Strange Thing Body: You know, I think it would have been wise for me to marry you. But for your part, it was wise to not marry me.…
How Blank Can You Get?
The blankness is all pervading. Attempted resistance only strengthens it. Example: staring at my bookshelf. A well-intentioned cousin gave me Marbles…
How Good Are the Best Pornos of All Time?
I remember it well. Someone had clued me in on the existence of a long gone “Golden Age of Porn.” A time of “porno chic,” when robust plots, French…
That Party at Liam’s
Liam was a fucking loser. His nickname in high school was “Eeyore.” He applied to one local college, got in, and then got on probation. Then he got…
A Dozen Suicides
Stacey had been on the “wrong track” for a long time. She’d started smoking pot with the gang in junior high and things escalated from there. With…
What Does It Mean When a Dead Porn Star Makes You Cum?
About a year ago, eFukt, America’s preeminent shock-video website, brought up an interesting philosophical question: what does it mean to jerk off…
The Enduring Rumination
Every time I have bought opioids online, I have been ripped off. You go through the motions of downloading Tor, setting up a Wickr, and creating a…
