Rescued from Aliens

I know I’m not the first to wish for a do-over or a time machine to change what I’ve done. My fights with wife Betty had become more extreme over…


Sniff Test

Interviewer George Hanson: I’m delighted to interview the president of the USA, Andrew Jackson. For those that have been out of touch, he was elected…


Betty’s New Boyfriend

“Hey, Joe, why don’t you come over today?” “I don’t think that I should while you are incapacitated. There isn’t anything we could do.” “We could…


Monster, Mermaid, and Me

On a fine day at my Southeast Portland house, I put on my bright white swimsuit and went out to my pool and imagined myself Julie* Adams in The…


Curmudgeon 4

How to convince me that you are a bad writer or speaker: “Take” preceded by fast, quick or hot. “Convo,” “conversate,” or “commentate.” “Pricing” or…


Moonless

On a dark moonless night, a short, voluptuous teen unseasonably dressed in short shorts and a bulging industrial-strength halter was followed by a…


Back in the Saddle Again

The man knocked on the door of the cabin in a saddle, the slight depression in the trail between the lower part of Hawley Hill and the upper part. An…


Curmudgeon 3

Taxes are easy to criticize, because the rules and the rates are horrible. No person making under $100,000 adjusted for inflation should need more…


Curmudgeon 2

Let’s talk American politics. Party D: Everything is the fault of rich people. We’ll take away their money to buy your votes. Party R: Don’t be poor.…


The Lady and the Snake

The erotic dream Jessie had at 2:36 AM was something new. A cross between a large man and a snake was spooning her before he started anal…